The Sound of Torture
by BlueBird722
Summary: Black Canary gives the team tickets to The Sound of Music-oh, how everybody will love it. No pairings, but hints of future couples.


Their mentors were quite aware that they did not always get along. It pained them to think that while they themselves were close and rarely had any arguments, Ollie and Barry stiffened to hear how the archer girl and speed boy endlessly insult and yell at each other. Arthur looked at them and asked, "What can we do to make these six stronger teammates?"

By this time, Dinah walked in holding six sheets of paper and smirking. "Well, I have six tickets to _The Sound of Music_," she smiled.

The men stared at her with such disbelief even as she walked to the mini-League sitting on the couch, Wally and Dick playing video games, the other boys laying bored on the couch, and the girls thumbing through magazines.

"Hey you six," she called out. Only Kaldur and Megan looked up. Artemis had fallen asleep and the speedster was too absorbed in his video game. Megan shook Artemis awake.

"Hey, Wally, Dick, Conner," she raised her voice. Dick paused his player, but Wally continued.

Dinah sighed, walked behind the TV, and unplugged the wire from the wall.

"Hey!" Wally screamed.

Dinah stood in front of them and held up the tickets. "Guess what I have in my hand?" she asked.

"What?" everyone asked with enthusiasm.

"You have to promise that if you don't like it you won't complain about it," she said.

Each nodded.

"Six tickets to _The Sound of Music," _she said

Artemis's face bubbled up. Dick gave her frozen eyes. Wally's jaw dropped. "What?"

"Yep, all six of you are going to see _The Sound of Music _tonight," she clarified.

"What's this sound of music?" Conner asked.

"It's a musical," Artemis said with pep in her tone.

"What's a musical?" he asked.

"Do we have to go?" Wally whined.

"Yes, you do," Dinah nodded. "After all, Wallace"-Artemis giggled-"Uncle Barry told me how every time you watched that movie you fell apart and cried on Aunt Iris' shoulder…"

Artemis shrieked with laughter. Dick pounded the floor laughing and Conner looked perplexed. "That's not true," he said, "I just had something in my eye every time-"

"Nice try, West," their leader laughed. "That won't happen all the time."

Wally's face turned red.

"Girls, go ahead and prepare yourselves while I explain to the boys how to act in the theater." Dinah beckoned Artemis and Megan to the showers. "Artemis, can you explain to Megan about this?"

The archer nodded still smiling as she dashed into the showers. Megan sat on the toilet seat while Artemis showered with some sort of strong-smelling body wash and looked down at her hands. "So…what's this show about?" Megan asked.

"It's about this nun-in-training who becomes a maid to an army general of sorts in Austria and his six children and teaches them how to sing and play instruments," she rattled off quickly.

Megan nodded and picked at her nails while Artemis stepped out in a green bathrobe and beckoned her in the stall. "I think you'd have to wear something other than your schoolgirl outfit," she said picturing the pink skirt. She closed the door behind her and clapped in excitement.

Two hours later, each teen but Wally was sitting on the couch, the girls in dark knee-length dresses and the boys fidgeting in suits. Conner looked down at his fashion statement. "Um…why do we have to get dressed up for this?" he asked.

Five minutes later, Barry had to drag Wally out of the showers, as their speed powers repelled against each other, into his room, into that hateful suit, and onto the couch. Dick and Artemis screamed in laughter. Wally stuck his tongue out after Barry pushed him onto the couch.

Dinah squealed and snapped pictures of the stiff junior league but Artemis looking miserable. "You're going to like it," the girl whispered to Megan. "It's so awesome."

"It's BORING!" Wally whined.

"Ah, our little infant has snapped," Dick teased in a cooing tone.

Wally grumbled until Dinah handed their leader a Benjamin Franklin. "I made reservations for you six to eat at Olive Garden before the show. Here's a fifty, Wally, so you can eat all you want."

Wally snatched it from her hand and slid it in his pocket.

Their uncles/mentors waved them goodbye as they left the cave to the city.

At the Italian restaurant, they each had a plate of pasta, dessert, and sodas, though Wally had two of each. Dick passed out strings of dental floss to remove garlic from between the teeth. Then they took a taxi to the Grande Theater, lights flashing bold enough to blind a lion.

Megan stared awed at the theater before Conner gently pushed her in.

Wally grabbed two bags of candied popcorn while Megan held Artemis's shoulder as she led them through the crowd. They walked up marble steps and passed old paintings of angels playing with harps.

"Wow," Wally whispered staring at a nude female angel.

"Wally, there's a soda machine," Artemis pointed.

Wally gaped and wiggled his way to the drinks. Kaldur took his head. "Soon, he'll either lose his appetite or he'll be too lazy to run anymore," he whispered.

Wally brought Cokes for everyone but Artemis (he still tried to ignore that Nelson guy's advice about a whatever-he-called-the-women) and drank his cup in one gulp. "Where's our seats?" he asked.

Artemis studied her ticket. "D-36 for me," she read aloud. Conner inspected the nude angel as well (Megan winced) before Kal grabbed him by the jacket and Conner grunted as he reluctantly followed him and the team.

The aisles were crowded, so the team thought they would be stuck for twenty years trying to reach their seats. A tall usher ripped tickets looking grim.

"Six," Artemis said handing him the slips of paper.

Their usher ripped their tickets in half and handed the slips to each person. "Cheerio," he said softly.

Conner looked around wildly. "Where?"

Artemis blinked. "What?"

"He said Cheerio," Conner whispered. "What does that mean? Isn't that some kind of cereal?"

Wally muffled a laugh. Dick stepped on his foot.

Artemis led her partners to the front row of the upper auditorium and sat beside Megan at the end. Wally did not realize he sat beside the blond until he set his food down. Beside him, Conner studied the chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Dick pulled out an iPod. Kaldur sighed until a hand touched his arm.

"Tula!" he gasped jumping up and hugging said-girl. His water friend smiled and hugged him back. "What brings you here?"

Tula pecked his cheek. "Garth and I were supposed to come together, but he's sick, so I came alone."

"Hey, Tula," Wally greeted with a mouthful of caramel.

Tula giggled and waved. "Hey, Wally."

The boy speedster flushed. Tula turned back to her friend. "Want to sit beside me?"

Kal nodded and took her hand before looking back at his teammates. "Sorry, guys, have to keep my friend company, you know?"

Conner growled. The girls giggled. Wally ate. Dick lifted his thumb.

After Tula led him to the back row, the auditorium grew dimmer. "What's that?" asked Megan.

"It means we're going to waste almost three hours of our lives," Wally whined as he pulled out several bags of candied popcorn. "Anybody want one?"

"I do," said Artemis.

"Never mind," Wally said pulling it back.

"Wally, that was mean," Megan pouted.

"Here you go, beautiful," Wally tossed her a thin bag. His face fell when he saw her pour pieces into Artemis's hand.

The curtains lit up and Wally shuddered.

"It's beautiful," Tula whispered holding her friend's hand.

They froze, looked down, and turned to each other, him mumbling something about how her face glowed in the dark. They later talked about the misery of rejection and the feeling of loneliness. Conner turned to Wally, who whispered, "It better not be about this hell," which drew him back.

Several nuns stepped out and began singing "Preludium" which made Artemis smile. Megan poked her and asked what a nun was.

"They're evil teachers," Wally hissed, which caused someone to shush him.

By the time Maria began singing "The Sound of Music", the two part-humans-part fishes were in the back row making out, Dick listening to Jesse McCartney, Conner busy being bored, Wally eating without pause, and Artemis whispering to Megan about the play.

"I have a feeling none of the nuns really like her," Megan explained.

Artemis shrugged. "Well, in life, not all people you meet will like you." She slowly inched her head and dangerously narrowed her eyes at the team eating machine.

When the nuns began singing "Maria," Wally thrust an empty Coke can at Artemis's face. "Refill?" he asked in a demanding way.

Artemis pushed it away. "No thanks, Baywatch."

Wally shuddered and growled. The teenager behind Arty hissed at him.

Little to no disturbances went on until Maria began singing "My Favorite Things." "Ooh, I love this song," Artemis whispered to Megan.

"We don't care," Wally mumbled through a mouthful of food. Conner was busy being bored, Dick was listening to Jesse, and Kaldur and Tula were still making out in the back.

Artemis shoved her middle finger under his nose and leaned toward Megan's ear.

"Okay, at this point, Maria will sing 'when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad," Artemis whispered to a nodding Megan, who was humming and smiling. "You get it?"

"Yes," Megan said.

Artemis hummed gently until Maria sang about negatives.

"When the dog bites," Megan shrieked suddenly. Artemis slapped her hand over her mouth and the audience snapped in their direction. Conner snapped awake, Wally tried not to laugh, and Dick did not pay attention.

"That wasn't funny," Artemis hissed at Wally's red face. Megan flushed under her hand and Conner looked even more lost.

"I'm sorry," she whispered through budding tears.

"A snack?" the little speedster shoved a bag of popcorn under her nose. She shook her head until he shrugged and continued chomping in Conner's ear.

"Hold on," Artemis whispered, "I need to go to the bathroom."

As soon as she slid from the team's sight, Wally sped over to Megan. "Hey, beautiful," he whispered wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

Megan visibly paled and shuddered in horror. "Hey, Wally," she shook.

"Want some popcorn?" he asked offering her the bag again.

She turned her attention to the stage. "What's happening here again?"

Wally winced and shrugged. "I think she's being sent to the mansion. P.S. how did your uncle get such a cute niece..."

It would have been better if Artemis had never left to go to the bathroom. Megan sighed and leaned forward. "How did your aunt ever end up with a nephew like you?"

Wally chuckled, not understanding the insult underneath, until Artemis walked back. "Candy?" she asked holding a box of nerds under his nose.

Wally's mouth opened, but Artemis had thrown the box toward the left exit. Wally growled and raced to retrieve the candy. Artemis fell back in her seat and heaved. Wally opened his box and poured half in his mouth.

By this time, Maria had entered the mansion and Lisel had met the young messenger boy.

"Who's that boy?" Megan asked.

"He's Rolf," Artemis answered, "her secret boyfriend."

By then, he was singing "Sixteen Going on Seventeen" and Artemis hummed along. Megan lightly clapped her hands. "Ooh, I hope I get a boy like that," she whispered in Artemis's ear.

Conner yawned.

Wally picked at his teeth and studied his first bag of popcorn before nibbling on the kernels as well. Artemis sighed loudly and hung her head. "Is that all you food you have?" she whispered.

"No," he said pulling out another bag.

"Big surprise," she fake-yawned.

Wally snapped and threw her a nasty look. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing-shh!" she hissed.

"Come on!" he growled.

"Shush!" the man sitting behind him hissed.

"You shh!" he snapped back.

Conner leaned his head against his hand and yawned.

Dick began bobbing his head to the side and the woman behind him growled angrily before sliding an ice cube down his back.

Dick yelped and jumped to his feet, half the audience turning in his direction. Artemis growled and shoved her face in her hands. Megan lifted her eyebrows.

Conner remained oblivious.

Wally watched Dick shiver-dance while eating his third roll of popcorn.

The ice cube slid down his leg and Dick burst down the hallway gasping. Kal and Tula appeared unaware.

Megan sympathized with Maria, opposed Elsa, and whined at the intermission. She and Artemis used this as an excuse to buy (or sneak) snacks for themselves. Conner did not leave his seat, and they did not see their water friends. "I love it!" Mega chirped endlessly.

"Where's Dick?" Arty asked Wally.

Wally laughed. "No idea-bet you ten bucks in the bathroom…"

Artemis sighed as the team walked back to their seats.

Much to Wally's surprise, Dick did not come back until Maria and the captain sang "An Ordinary Couple." "What happened?" he asked over a droopy Conner.

"Ice cube," he hissed coldly.

Artemis sighed happily when Maria walked down the aisle, von Trappe waiting at the aisle, the children watching.

She turned her head to find Megan sniffing and wiping her eyes. "You okay?" she asked.

The alien nodded. "I…I can't believe it….they're….they're finally getting married!"

Artemis rubbed her back and nodded. "Yep…I never did like the fiancé anyway-"

Megan began sobbing harder and actually wept when the audience clapped. Artemis calmed her down in time for her to sing along the small concert, the archer surprised at her own knowledge of WWII.

Conner fell asleep once the von Trappe family abandoned their house and Megan curled at the edge of her seat when Rolf nearly cornered the family, releasing them when he recognized his love-who Artemis said he would never see again…

Megan sobbed at the sound of that, but was otherwise relieved when Maria, the captain, nuns, and children fade farewell while the family hurried off behind Maria…

Megan gripped Artemis's hand as the curtains fell on the family wandering around the mountains. "Oh, Arty, that was the BEST musical I have EVER seen!"

"Is it over?" Wally cried. "Oh, thank GOD!"

Artemis sighed. Wally elbowed a sleeping Conner to no effect. Artemis snapped a picture and shook him by the shoulder. He grunted and turned away. Megan jumped up and cheered at the bowing cast members, screaming in Arty's ear when Maria danced up and bowed.

Conner groggily rubbed his eyes and followed an unchanged Dick and relieved Wally back down their aisle to the hallway.

"Cheerio," the usher said.

"Coco puffs," Conner called out.

Megan's spine stiffened. Dick sighed and closed his eyes.

"How are we getting home?" Conner asked Artemis.

She held up leftover money. "We'll hire a taxi."

* * *

><p>"My friend Conner and Artemis Crock, our leader Kaldur and my friend Wally, our friend Robin and our mentors dear, these are a few of my favorite things," Megan sang. "My uncle John and Red Tornado, my cheerleading squad and all of my dear friends, the Justice League that's always watching over us, these are a few of my favorite things…when the bombs ticks, when my friends scream, when I'm feeling sad, I think of my favorite things, and then I don't feeeeeelllll…..so bad!"<p>

Each body in the cab was reacting differently.

The driver was staring ahead thinking, _What the f-_

Conner threw her a blank look.

Wally began crying.

Dick fidgeted with his iPod.

Artemis laughed and looked out the window. "Hey-where's Kaldur?"

Nobody answered.

* * *

><p>Artemis woke the next morning to someone knocking on the door. When she ran down the steps, her mother opened the door to reveal human Megan in a Victoria's Secret top and sweatpants.<p>

"Arty! Hey, Ms. Crock! Guess what I have?"

"What?" the blond mumbled.

"My own copy of _The Sound of Music!"_ Megan squealed jumping on the front porch holding out the movie. "If you don't have any plans, let's watch it together!"

Artemis moaned. "Mom, can you take care of her for me? I need a shot of vodka."


End file.
